Home is where the heart is????????

As of my last post we were just sitting and waiting and hoping that the right person would come along and fall in love with our house and make us a phenomenal offer. Well, unfortunately we are still sitting and waiting and hoping that the right person will come along and fall in love with our house and at least make us a fair offer. The only thing that has changed is geography. You see, last month Kaylea and Angel and I packed our clothes and headed south to be with Barry.

As of right now, we (Barry, Kaylea, Angel and I) are living with Auntie M and Mr. Bob in Lakeland, FL. And for those of you that are scratching your heads, yes, Auntie M and Mr. Bob were living in Knoxville and they moved to Florida, also. It was quite coincidental, but Mr. Bob was laid-off in February and he was hired in March by a company in Lakeland (which is also our - Missy and my - hometown). So, Auntie M and Mr. Bob offered us their upstairs which was sitting empty. As you can imagine, things are pretty crazy around here at times. But we all are trying to make the best out of a not-so-ideal situation.

There have been several times that I have looked around and asked myself "what are you doing?" It feels like I am on a very long extended vacation. I am living in my sister's house, sleeping in my sister's guest room, eating off of my sister's dishes in her kitchen, washing my clothes in my sister's washer, etc.... you get the picture. All the while I am trying to keep things as normal as possible for Kaylea. The only problem is that this task is next to impossible because things aren't normal.

Kaylea has said that she feels like she is on vacation, also. I guess the finality of the move won't hit her until she starts school. For now all she knows is that she misses her BFF terribly bad and phone calls and emails just aren't the same as sleep overs and play dates. Every chance I get I try to distract her. So far this summer we have worked on Summer Bridge Activities; bought her some books to read; visited with my friend Mary and her children; taken a trip to Daytona to visit our friends from Seymour - Ms. Pam, Gram and Billy; and spent some time at Anna Maria Island at our cousin Debi's beach condo. Currently, she is attending VBS and we are planning on sending her to a summer camp for a couple of weeks.

I almost had myself fooled into thinking that Kaylea was really doing o.k. and this move was going to be a piece of cake. That was until a couple of weeks ago. Kaylea was upset because she didn't want to do a writing assignment for her tutor (that is a whole other post). I wasn't really giving her much sympathy and kept telling her she needed to just do it! Then out of nowhere she broke down into tears and told me, "I want to go home. Please mommy, just let me go home. Call Grammy and she can come and get me and take me home." Well, I tried to be strong and not let her see me crying inside. I explained to her, "This is our home now. Our family is together and your home is where your family is."

I don't think I convinced her; heck, I don't think I convinced myself either. So my question to all of you out there is this, "What makes your house a home? Is it your family being there? Is it ownership? Is it your beloved belongings?"

Any advise and/or words of wisdom are appreciated.

Home Alone?

I was watching the Today Show yesterday and they reported on a mom in NYC that let her 9 year old son travel via subway and bus across the city by himself. It was a thought provoking story for me.

When is a child old enough to travel alone or be left alone at home?

Over the past few months, I have been thinking quite a bit about the latter of those. Kaylea will be 10 in September and I am wondering if she is old enough to be left at home alone while I run little errands. So far, I am just not comfortable enough to leave her. Now, I have to confess, when Kaylea was sick last winter I left her at the house while I made a 10 minute trip to Walgreens to get her medicine. All the while, I was feeling like I was doing something wrong. Of course Kaylea thought that she was BIG stuff and now she is always asking me to leave her at home again.

This whole issue is quite a conundrum for me. You see when my sister and I were little, our parents divorced and we became "latch key kids" at the ages of 10 and 6. Mom worked her butt off just to be able to keep food on the table and a roof over our head; there was no money for afterschool childcare. Not only were we alone in the afternoons, we had to walk home from school because we were JUST inside the 2 mile boundary; therefore, the buses didn't come to our neighborhood. (At that time, if you lived within 2 miles of the school, you were either a car rider, bike rider or walker). Our route home was a 4 lane divided road, similar to Kingston Pike. ThiThi was just a little older than Kaylea and she was responsible for herself AND a little sister. The big difference between ThiThi and me and Kaylea is that ThiThi and I were a lot more mature than Kaylea. Of course, we didn't have much choice other than to be mature; whereas, Kaylea has no reason or need to grow up.

So, do I let Kaylea stay home alone to teach her responsibility and encourage maturity? Or do I wait for her to become responsible and mature before I give her the priviledge of being home alone? Let me know your thoughts.

Say Your Sorry - Because Mommy Said So, That's Why!

I was reading an article on the MSN home page this morning that bumfuzzled me. The article was titled, "Should You Make Your Children Say They're Sorry?" Are they kidding me? I can't believe this is even an issue at question. YES, of course you should make your children say they're sorry!

The whole gist of the article was that if the child was apologizing only because their parent made them, then it was insincere and didn't count. The author went on to say how you should talk to your child and discuss their feelings about the situation and then through conversation lead them to the discovery that they need to apologize. The family in the article had some sort of feelings pow-wow that led to a warm fuzzy moment where two brothers shared their feelings about a situation and resulted in an I'm sorry from the eldest.

Well, let me just say, when Kaylea does something that is inappropriate or hurtful to someone, I am going to tell her that she needs to say she is sorry. And then, I am going to tell her why she should be sorry. And then, I am going to tell her what she needs to say when she says she is sorry. I am sure that Kaylea wishes she could get off so easy as me just saying, "you need to say your sorry." But no, nothing is ever that cut and dry at our house. There is always LOTS of explanation and discussion that goes along with it.

I am a firm believer that she will not learn kindness, compassion or tolerance if her Dad and I do not teach it to her. It just so happens that my way of teaching her these things is to make her aware when she is not demonstrating these qualities and letting her how hurtful her actions are to the other people. I also believe that she will not learn how to express sincerity unless, I model it for her. When I tell her she needs to apologize, I make sure she understands that I do not mean just saying, "I'm sorry." She knows that she needs to admit to what she did that was wrong and tell the person why she is sorry.

So, far, I think we are doing pretty good! I don't how because we haven't had the first feelings pow-wow at our house.