Say Your Sorry - Because Mommy Said So, That's Why!

I was reading an article on the MSN home page this morning that bumfuzzled me. The article was titled, "Should You Make Your Children Say They're Sorry?" Are they kidding me? I can't believe this is even an issue at question. YES, of course you should make your children say they're sorry!

The whole gist of the article was that if the child was apologizing only because their parent made them, then it was insincere and didn't count. The author went on to say how you should talk to your child and discuss their feelings about the situation and then through conversation lead them to the discovery that they need to apologize. The family in the article had some sort of feelings pow-wow that led to a warm fuzzy moment where two brothers shared their feelings about a situation and resulted in an I'm sorry from the eldest.

Well, let me just say, when Kaylea does something that is inappropriate or hurtful to someone, I am going to tell her that she needs to say she is sorry. And then, I am going to tell her why she should be sorry. And then, I am going to tell her what she needs to say when she says she is sorry. I am sure that Kaylea wishes she could get off so easy as me just saying, "you need to say your sorry." But no, nothing is ever that cut and dry at our house. There is always LOTS of explanation and discussion that goes along with it.

I am a firm believer that she will not learn kindness, compassion or tolerance if her Dad and I do not teach it to her. It just so happens that my way of teaching her these things is to make her aware when she is not demonstrating these qualities and letting her how hurtful her actions are to the other people. I also believe that she will not learn how to express sincerity unless, I model it for her. When I tell her she needs to apologize, I make sure she understands that I do not mean just saying, "I'm sorry." She knows that she needs to admit to what she did that was wrong and tell the person why she is sorry.

So, far, I think we are doing pretty good! I don't how because we haven't had the first feelings pow-wow at our house.